masturbatory prattle

Explaining “Remembrance Day”

Posted in masturbatory prattle on November 1st, 2011 by CARL – Be the first to comment

In October of 2001, two friends and I flew from Tampa to Winnipeg. The next day we flew to Thompson, Manitoba. The next night we took a 14 hour, overnight train ride to the town of Churchill. The day after that, we went out into the tundra to see some polar bears. Then we got drunk and trick-or-treated because it happened to be Hallowe’en. Then we skipped the train and another stay in Thompson and instead flew straight back to Winnipeg. Then I went home, while my two friends headed over to Calgary for a couple days.

This is a song about our journey. It’s called “Remembrance Day” because – while at a Wendy’s / Tim Horton’s in Winnipeg – I noticed a donation box at the counter that was filled with red poppies. They looked like this:

I didn’t know what they were for, so I either asked the cashier or one of my friends, who happened to be French-Canadian. Whichever one I asked (it’s been 10 years, so my memory is sketchy) answered that they were worn for Remembrance Day.  Then they explained to me what Remembrance Day was all about.  So I put a loonie in the donation box and pinned a poppy to my sweater.

And that’s that.  Now let me explain a couple other things about the song:

She enjoyed my Churchill poems 
Their imagery, meter, and tone 
But – to her – the best thing was 
How she factored in each and every one 

I wrote one very long poem while at the Churchill Motel on Hallowe’en (yes, I’m spelling it the Canadian way – deal with it).  In the week following my return to Florida, I wrote 4 more inspired by the trip.  I shared most of these with my friend (the French-Canadian) and she said good things about them.

The story of the northbound train 
The antics that the cars contained 
A fourteen hour ride 
Underneath the stars and northern lights 

We first saw the northern lights during our flight from Winnipeg to Thompson.  Halfway through the flight, I looked out at the night sky and there they were – green and flowing beautifully.  That fourteen hour train ride was the next night.  The northern lights returned – we would watch them while smoking in that outside area between the train cars.

Past the tree line, towards the place 
Where the wind destroys your face 
As the ice forms on the bay 

At one point in the train ride, the trees just disappeared – as if they knew it was foolish to go any further.  That was the tree line.  The bay in question is Hudson Bay, which is where the polar bears hang out and wait for enough ice to form so that they can get on the ice and start gobbling up seals.

Earlier in Thompson bars 
Buying drinks for pool hall stars 
At 55 degrees 
The latitude that weakened Gordon’s knees

At the time, Thompson, Manitoba was the most depressing city I had ever been to (before I discovered the sad majesty of Steubenville, Ohio) – everyone there just seemed really, really sad and eager to be drunk as often as possible.  The northernmost Wal-Mart in North America is there.  That’s pretty much the only place to hang out at, too.

Anyways, Thompson is located at 55 degrees latitude.  I knew this ahead of time because of a song by The Tragically Hip called “Thompson Girl”.  In it, lead singer Gordon Downie sings, “Looks like Christmas at 55 degrees / This latitude weakens my knees”.  THIS IS HOW I MAKE LYRICAL SAUSAGE!  Neat, eh?  Give the song a listen – it’s really good:

The Tragically Hip – Thompson Girl

Stumbling back to our hotel beds 
As the lights danced overhead 
Giving us a complete sense 
Of our total insignificance

Our lives mean absolutely nothing.  Don’t dwell on it too much.

And everyone so generous 
The cab drivers and Thompson drunks 
Happy to lend a hand to us

We paid a local cab driver in Churchill to drive us around and show us the sights.  She was awesome.  This is her:

She took us to the polar bear jail (where the polar bears who sneak into the city are taken after they are caught and tranquelized), the sight of the Miss Piggy C-46 plane crash, and several other places we would never have been able to go without her.

Red plastic poppies on display
Pinned to a nation’s chest – they say
It’s for Remembrance Day

I explained this part already.  Remember – the box at the Wendy’s / Tim Horton’s (this was back in the day when they were owned by the same folks)?  Geez, this post has gotten really long.  Let’s wrap things up:

Trudging through the ice and snow 
In boots too big and borrowed clothes 
Too cold for my Florida bones 

Being from Florida, I had absolutely zero winter clothing.  Prior to departing, I borrowed a pair of hiking boots from my friend Bryce.  Another friend of mine gave me gloves, some heavy sweaters, and a toboggan cap.  The temperature hovered around the 20′s (Fahrenheit) for most of the time we were there.  That’s not too bad, but it was still the coldest temperatures I had ever been exposed to.

And that’s all you need to know.  Actually, you didn’t really need to know any of that – if you’ve listened to the song and have enjoyed it, then that’s all that really matters.

Paris Street – Remembrance Day by Paris Street

A Guide To The Proper Nouns In “Y.O.W.”

Posted in masturbatory prattle on January 6th, 2011 by CARL – Be the first to comment

Are you enjoying singing along to the song “Y.O.W.” from the Canada 1 EP, but don’t know what a “Re-Do Canal” is?  This handy illustrated guide will help you figure that out.  It will also shine a light on several other words in the song that may sound obtuse to non-Canadian ears.  Enjoy.

Brantford – a city in Ontario, just west of Hamilton. Phil Hartman was born there. As was . . .

Wayne Gretzky – c’mon, you know this one. He won 4 Stanley Cups. His mullet only won 2.

Yellowknife – the capital city of the Northwest Territories. The fella from Yellowknife that sat next to me on my fight told me that the diamond mine he used to work at was run by Dutch Afrikaners who were still bitter about the end of apartheid in South Africa. He was happy to no longer be working there.

CBC – the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation. Is this where they originally aired Degrassi High? Sure, why not?

Dalhousie – a street that runs through downtown Ottawa. I don’t remember which bar I hit first on that trip, but I think it was an Irish pub. Some guy was playing Celtic music in there, which is my absolute least favorite musical style. I didn’t last too long in there.

The Rideau Canal – cuts its way through Ottawa on its way to Lake Ontario. Skating on its surface looks like fun, but would just make me think about falling through the ice and freezing to death. I’m a bit of a wimp.

I hope that helps.  Now that you’re educated, give the song another listen: